Perspective

I feel unheard, in a way that I just don’t feel them. I don’t feel them really hearing me. They don’t understand my need; they expect something from me which I’m not able to give them. I feel unnecessary, I feel that me is not there me. In other words, they want me to be who I’m not. Take things seriously, things which I don’t really care about, and the things that I care about are just things they don’t. Why do I realize this now? I’ve felt this my whole life. Felt like if she was always better, she was always used to be compared to me. Feeling the pressure to be like her blocked me from trying hard to persist to my dreams, keep on fighting for what I believe in and most importantly be myself. Why do I always feel the need to satisfy the rest? How come I never do things for me? Before I do any type of task I think about them, I think about making them happy trying to be who they want me to be. Yes off course they always use the excuse that its always for my well-being, that they always try to do the best for me. But has it ever crossed their minds that maybe my happiness in some cases might matter, and might even be more important than their priorities. What type of soup have they used to make this bubble, this bubble that I’ve tried to pop and run out of, but it’s just not possible? Something is not letting me, and that is them. Will they ever be more understanding? Will they ever be happy with who I am? Will they ever be satisfied for the things I do? Or might I just give up, and became a follower, a follower who is not a leader. A follower who pertain to orders, and is easily swept and pressured by the crowd? Someone who won’t make an impact in life? Is that who you want me to be?